JAFF Anonymous

Jane Austen Fan Fiction Anonymous Meetings Here! 24 hours a Day; 7 Days a Week! We Don't Suffer, We Celebrate!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Jack Caldwell: Darcy, Darcy Everywhere!

Welcome Jack Caldwell!
One of 28 Authors Participating in the Upcoming Decatur Book Festival 
To Darcyholic Diversions...
4 Week to Go till Decatur Book Festival!
Hi, Darcyholics!  Jack Caldwell and his two Darcys have stopped by to celebrate with him, and with us as we all get ready to go to the Decatur Book Festival!  There are still hotel rooms available at the Emory Conference Center.  Just ask for the Jane Austen rate of $99 and call during business hours.  First social event is at 7 pm at the restaurant at the hotel on Friday night.  Festival starts at 10 on Saturday till 6 and then 12-6 on Sunday.  We would LOVE to see YOU there!

As for Jack, not only am I going to get to meet him, but also his lovely wife Barbara!
I am also announcing initial plans for a Darcyholic Holiday eBook Festival
More Information to come, but send me an email at barbaratillercole@gmail.com if you are an author and would like to participate!!
Upcoming Guest Posts Are As Follows:
August 31--Decatur Book Festival Eve!
September 2--Live from the Decatur Book Festival
September 4--Fun Stories from the DBF
September 7--Jack Caldwell's Experiences at the DBF
September 11--Karen Cox's Experiences at the DBF
September 14--Mary Simonsen
September 18--Amber G.
September 21--Moira B.
November 2--Amy Patterson
November 13--Karen Doornebos
And Many more to come!
Pamela will be giving away a copy of An Assembly Such as This and a copy of Young Master Darcy: A Lesson in Honour,  awarded separately. Comments count as entries, but additional chances will be given for joining this site, tweeting this post, joining this site as a member via Google Friend Connect (GFC) (See the left hand column on the blog to join!), sharing this on Facebook or your blog, Friend Barbara Tiller Cole on Facebook, clicking 'like’ on Barbara Tiller Cole, Author's Facebook page, Join Darcyholic Diversions Facebook Page or following BarbTCole on Twitter. 

DARCY, DARCY EVERYWHERE
by Jack Caldwell
(SCENE: A small, windowless room with numerous couches and chairs.
FITZWILLIAM DARCY WALKS IN, CARRYING AN ARMFUL OF BOOKS. A MAN OF THE REGENCY PERIOD, HE’S DRESSED IN A BLACK CUTAWAY COAT, BLACK TROUSERS, AND A BUFF VEST OVER A SNOW-WHITE SHIRT AND CRAVAT. HE’S UNCOMFORTABLY WARM.)
FITZWILLIAM DARCY – Good Lord, Georgia is hot! How can anyone live here? I do not understand why the Empire fought so hard to keep it. Let the colonialists have it and be done with it, say I.
(HE SETS DOWN THE BOOKS ON A TABLE AND TAKES A SEAT.)
FD – If it were not for my love of books, I would have never allowed Mr. Caldwell to transport me here. Traveling through space and time is always unsettling. I hope the participants of the Decatur Book Festival appreciate my offering.
(THE DOOR OPENS AND WILLIAM DARCY OF ROSINGS, TEXAS COMES IN. A WEALTHY RANCHER OF 1870S AMERICAN WEST, HE WEARS A BLACK COAT, GREY VEST, TROUSERS, AND BLACK COWBOY BOOTS. HE SPORTS A BOLO TIE AT HIS THROAT AND A BLACK COWBOY HAT ON HIS HEAD. HE’S ALSO CARRYING BOOKS.)
FD (RISING TO HIS FEET) – Good afternoon, sir.
WILLIAM DARCY – Whew, it’s a hot one out there today! Howdy, stranger. Just let me set this load down. (WD PLACES HIS BOOKS NEXT TO THE OTHER PILE AND EXTENDS HIS HAND). William Darcy’s the name.
FD – William Darcy? Extraordinary! (SHAKES HAND)
WD – It is?
FD – Yes. It just so happens that my name is Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy.
WD – Fitzwilliam? (COUGHS) You don’t say. That explains your fancy duds.
FD (LOOKS AT HIS CLOTHES) – Duds? I assume you refer to my manner of dress.
WD (TAKES FD IN) – Dress? You’re not from around here, are you?
FD – I am from Pemberley Manor in Derbyshire.
WD – Derbyshire—that’s in England, isn’t it?
FD – Yes. (HE EYES WD’S CLOTHES) And you are a local resident?
WD – Me? No, I’m from Rosings, Texas. Funny—my ranch is named Pemberley.
FD – And where is Texas?
WD (LAUGHS) – You really aren’t from around here! Everybody knows where Texas is! It’s about nine hundred miles west of here.
FD – I thought that was Mexico.
WD – Not for a long time. We’re the biggest state in the Union.
FD – Nine hundred miles? Good Lord! I knew America was a large country, but I had no idea.
WD – Partner, Texas ain’t even half way to California! So, you’re here for the book festival?
FD – Yes, Mr. Caldwell was kind enough to transport me here. I must ask you, sir, not to refer to me with such familiarity. I know you Americans are used to more relaxed manners, but it will not do! I am Mr. Darcy to all but my closest acquaintances.
WD – Now hold your horses, friend. I meant no disrespect. You can call me Darcy, by the way.
FD – Very well, Mr. Darcy.
WD (SIGHS) – You’re a stickler for rules, aren’t you?
FD – It has done me no ill, yet. Manners are the rules by which society functions.
WD – I used to think like you, until I met my wife, Beth.
FD – Good God, there is another extraordinary coincidence! My dear wife is named Elizabeth!
WD – I’ll be damned—oh, sorry. Still, this is darn peculiar. (HE SITS)
FD – She was the making of me, Mr. Darcy. My manners were not what they should have been before her.
WD – Yeah, nothing like a good woman to straighten a feller out. I expect your wife is pretty?
FD (SMILES) – Elizabeth is the handsomest woman of my acquaintance.
WD – Beth’s prettier than a sunset.
FD – A light and pleasing figure—
WD – Curly brown hair—
FD – Witty and intelligent—
WD – Kind and loving—
FD & WD (TOGETHER) – And has the most enchanting eyes!
(FD AND WD LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN A MIXTURE OF WONDERMENT AND CONFUSION)
FD – I do not believe in coincidences, Mr. Darcy.
WD – Neither do I, Mr. Darcy.
FD – What is the meaning of all this?
WD – I’m not sure. Maybe it has to do with that time and space stuff that Mr. Caldwell is always going on about.
FD – Could we be related?
WD – Maybe. My people came from England about a hundred years ago, before the Revolution.
FD – This is bizarre.
WD – I can’t argue with you. (LOOKS ABOUT) So, you brought some books, too?
FD – Ah, yes. Homer, Wordsworth, and a delightful book named Sense and Sensibility, written by “A Lady.”
WD – Sense and Sensibility? I’ve brought that one, too! But the author’s name is Jane Austen.
FD – I am about to freak out.
WD – What does freak out mean?
FD – I am not sure. The phrase just popped into my head. But it seems to fit this occurrence.
WD – I think you’re right, Mr. Darcy. I’m about to freak out, too.
FD – I comprehend your feelings, Mr. Darcy.
WD – Okay, enough of this Mr. Darcy stuff, all right? Just call me Will, like all my friends.
FD – Very well, Will.
WD – And what do I call you?
FD – Darcy?
WD – No. How about Fitzy?
FD – Absolutely not! Fitzwilliam is acceptable, however.
WD – It’s a mouthful, but okay. By the way, what does your Elizabeth call you?
FD (SMILES) – That must remain between Elizabeth and me.
WD (SMILES) – If she’s anything like my Beth, I understand.
(JACK CALDWELL COMES IN THROUGH THE DOOR)
JACK CALDWELL – Okay, guys, it’s show time! All these lovely ladies are waiting to meet Mr. Darcy and Mr. Darcy! Come on. Oh, by the way, Texas isn’t the largest state in the USA—Alaska is.
FD & WD (TOGETHER) – Where is Alaska?
JC – Uh, it’s north of…. Oh, never mind. Come on or we’ll be late!
FD – After you, Will.
WD – Nope, age before beauty, Fitzwilliam.
FD – “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.”
WD – “Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die.”
FD – I am not familiar with that one.
WD – Tennyson—rather after your time. (HOLDS UP THE COLLECTED POEMS OF ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON) It’s a favorite of mine. You can borrow it later, along with Huckleberry Finn.
FD – I shall take you up on that.
WD – Lead the way, Mr. Caldwell!


Jack Caldwell will be one of the many authors featured at the JASNA – Georgia Regions tent at the AJC Decatur Bok Festival, September 1 and 2, 2012 in downtown Decatur.
About the Author - Jack Caldwell is an author, amateur historian, professional economic developer, playwright, and like many Cajuns, a darn good cook. Born and raised in the Bayou County of Louisiana, Jack and his wife, Barbara, are Hurricane Katrina victims who now make the upper Midwest their home.
His nickname—The Cajun Cheesehead—came from his devotion to his two favorite NFL teams: the New Orleans Saints and the Green Bay Packers. (Every now and then, Jack has to play the DVD again to make sure the Saints really won in 2010.)
His latest novel is THE THREE COLONELS – Jane Austen’s Fighting Men (2012), a sequel to Pride & Prejudice and Sense & Sensibility. His first novel is PEMBERLEY RANCH (2010), a re-imagining of Pride & Prejudice set in 1870s Texas.
When not writing or traveling with Barbara, Jack attempts to play golf. A devout convert to Roman Catholicism, Jack is married with three grown sons.
Jack's blog postings—The Cajun Cheesehead Chronicles—appear regularly at Austen Authors.
Web site – Ramblings of a Cajun in Exile – http://webpages.charter.net/jvcla25/
Blog – Austen Authors – http://austenauthors.net/
PEMBERLEY RANCH VIDEO PREVIEW - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JkxXrqYhSg
THE THREE COLONELS VIDEO PREVIEW - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkNVx55OSJc

11 comments:

  1. Thanks Jack! What Fun!

    And it WILL be Darcy, Darcy Everywhere this weekend with 28 authors and over 80 books participating in the Decatur Book Festival Jane Austen: Then and Now events! Can't wait to meet you officially!

    Barbara

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well dang it, nobody told me Darcy AND Darcy were gonna be there! Lots and lots of Darcys! I really really wish I was going. Now I know how Lydia felt when she thought she wasn't going to Brighton.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jack, you write great Darcys but you also do a wonderful Colonel Fitzwilliam. Are you going to dress up as Regency-gent Darcy, or Texas-Darcy? I'm envious of all the ladies you'll be meeting at the Festival!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Looking forward to seeing you, Barbara, and all your leading men in a few days!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jack Caldwell,
    This blog was hilarious to read! I simply love the meeting between the two different Darcys from your books! I wish I was going to that festival you guys are off to now! Which of your Darcys are you going to dress like? The Texas Darcy or the Derbyshire/Regency Darcy? I am envious but very grateful for your wonderful work!
    Barbara, get job of getting Jack Caldwell to write here on this blog! Good luck on the festival! Give my regards and thanks for the signed bookmark to Jack Caldwell and Abigail Reynolds! The best block...for a long time!

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a hoot! Loved reading the two Darcys meeting. I loved Will Darcy in the story and I still need to read the Colonels book.

    Thanks so much for the fun post!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What fun! Loved your post with Darcy and Darcy! Wish I could be there this weekend and meet all of you! I am looking forward to reading all about it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I follow on Twitter @asoftheday

    ReplyDelete
  9. I like your author page on FB as well

    ReplyDelete